A cross-cultural relationship

“I moved to India, rather predictably, after a broken heart back home in New Zealand. A rush of blood to the head, and 6 weeks later, India. No planning or thought just had to leave New Zealand – and him – behind. Anyway, there was a series of catastrophic events a few months after I arrived in India, one of which included losing my job. I reached out to a local guy who I knew from Facebook, and he decided to introduce me to his best friend, who might be able to get me a job.

So, one night in December, I went to meet this guy. He had been at a conference all day so we met at a swanky hotel.

I remember walking up to him and – although outwardly I kept it together – losing the ability to think.

I shook his hand and his warm hand enveloped mine as his gorgeous brown eyes looked into mine. Seriously. Pretty much every awful romance novel ever, all I needed was the soaring music in the background.


As I write this, it’s 18 months today since our first date. I had to abandon his job offer as I decided the guy himself was a better bet. We’ve travelled extensively since – across 12 countries – and around parts of India. His first language is English which is fantastic as I can’t speak Hindi/ Urdu/ Arabic/ Tamil and he’s not a traditional Indian guy in that

he supports me as a woman, business owner, and traveller.

He’s completely cruisy which offsets my slightly control-freak tendencies, and he’s gentle, kind, and absolutely lovely.

My advice to anyone wanting a cross-cultural relationship – it adds another dimension which is awesome but can be difficult. Make sure you both understand the other’s culture. For instance, I come from a Western country and grew up in a large home in a traditional nuclear family, and we each had our own bedroom. I have a big personal space and have not shared a bed with anyone other than my partner, I think ever.

He comes from a culture where interpersonal space is limited and privacy is not really a thing. He still, as an adult, shares a bedroom with his parents if the need is there. It is anticipated that Indian parents move in with their children as they age. This can create issues unless there are very firm understandings on both sides. While I am adaptable there are certain things I’m completely inflexible on and that has to be discussed.”

Join Paula’s journey by reading her blog Saucy and Spice.
Would you like to share your own love story? Feel free to contact me at hello@thefeelingremains.com!

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