Welcome back! Today I’d like to share with you my ultimate guide about how not to behave after giving up your job for travelling and also tell what you should do to avoid anxiety about your decision.
Anxiety over everything – here it is the time for some real talk.
Well, before we start let me apologize for two things:
- This post is insanely long
- This post lost its mind already while it was being written
And one more: I’m so sorry to break “Love stories by female travellers” series, it will be continued tomorrow, but I do it with a “holy” purpose! I hope this post will help some of you who are in the same situation.
You are not alone Babes!
This post may contain affiliate links.
So, if you have been following my blog for a few weeks – hello mom and friends, I love y’all-, you surely know that I quit my job to find my happiness, to travel, and so on. It’s not the place to write about it again so if you missed my posts about it you can check them here and here.
So let’s start: Whining time, yay!
Back to a few weeks ago.
On a beautiful day, I was doing the housework, when my inner voice (oh that crazy b***h) started whispering
“You quit Girl. You did it! It’s fun and now you can go everywhere and do whatever you want, but you still haven’t set up your business… what about money? How will you make your living?”
I told you, she’s crazy and quite irritating…
…and she continued. – “Just remember: you were searching for affordable digs in the 3. district of Budapest for almost a year… Do you really want to denounce it? What will happen if you change your mind? And let me ask you this: what will happen with your career? You were working so hard and finally, it came to fruition. Are you sure you’re ready to give up everything? Now you can easily turn back…”
“Ha! I have already told you I don’t have to burn all of my bridges!” – I replied to her – “I can keep my little spot for a while… at least while I figure out what I really want to do, and I have saved money, so I have time and I can rebuild my career whenever I want. It’s all up to me.”
I thought I successfully brought her round, so I continued mopping the floor. But she put a bug in my ears – “Okay, is there anything else you’d like to tell me?” – I asked.
“Actually I have one more thing to say… or two.”
I wish I had never ever asked it to her because she began to list it.
“You are almost thirty years old, when will you have a child? Are you sure you want to spend your money on travelling? You started to save it for buying a house. You have always had a plan and it was for a reason. By the way, you’ve never stayed in a dorm room. Are you sure it’s for you? And Couchsurfing?! Oh, come on Girl, you are pretty introvert. Oh, and are you sure you are a backpacker? Your normal handbag is bigger than a trunk… What kind of backpack will you bring? 200 litre? And I know you are not as flexible and free-spirited as you may think. How will you make friends? I know you want to travel alone – although your longest trip alone was only for 7 weeks -, but does it really mean that you won’t tell even a word to anybody? And if you do so… how will they understand you? I know you have more self-confidence in speaking in foreign languages and it’s great! Keep it up! But that English you speak is kinda basic-English, not to mention your French. And what about how you look? You really want to go to beaches all over the World and show that body in beachwear?!”
And I’m sure she would have been going on and on with it happily, but she realized that I was regressing under emotional exhaustion as she listed all of my real or putative fears from point to point.
“Okay, you must have hit rock bottom because of all of these things and I haven’t mentioned the worst things yet, but let me say something. You can undo it. Now you can undo everything. Just look at your friends and other people you know and take an example of them. It would be better for you, and it’s safe” – and that was the point when as a sudden a realization dawned on me.
She wasn’t my inner voice
She couldn’t have been – my inner voice is a cool girl and she is actually a badass. That voice was fed by my fears and other people’s fears. Since I made this decision and I have been talking about it to others, and I’ve heard just how big mistake I made.
I have been thinking so much about whether I should really write about it here or not – it was actually another argument with someone inside me-.
But damn it, it’s my blog I can share my thoughts on pretty much anything I want. Even if I lose some readers – including some of my ‘friends’.
And it may help someone who also struggles with their crazy bitches inside themselves.
I’m sick of acting a role and not being able to do something I want because of some rules made by our society or because I should follow the crowd. Since I quit I’ve been sick of listening to other people’s lament on how hard it is to change things and their silly excuses why they wouldn’t do the same. It’s like a poison! I’m sick of hearing that they blame others because of their inertia.
– Oh wow, take it easy! Is it still about travel? Are you ok? Wanna speak about it? Just drink a glass of wine and everything’s gonna be fine –
But it is not this that I am really angry about. I’m so angry with myself because I was naive and did not stand out for myself! Do not mistake my words, please. I do not think they are worse than me, or I am superior to them. It’s not about that. On the contrary, if I want to be honest – I think I can honestly say after saying all the things above -.
Every person has their own anxiety that they can deal with or fight with.
Me too. And now, in this post, I am sharing with you almost everything I’m fighting with at the moment. It doesn’t matter actually what kind of fears you have or whether it makes sense or not, they are there and you can fight with them. Or deal with them. And it’s totally up to you – oh how wise I have suddenly become… -.- – so you can choose what kind of life you’d like to live.
And I have already chosen one.
Is it the right path?
I don’t know.
The only thing I know that I regret things I missed out. I missed chances when I could have said a thing to stand out for my truth when I surely knew I was right. I missed out those dates with that guy who wanted to see me while he was in the country. I missed possibilities I couldn’t grab because I was too cushy to do it. Possibilities that seemed too risky to take at the time, riskier than staying in my well-known comfort zone – I mean I guess because I could never find out -,
but I still regret each of them.
Now I’m ready and up to whatever comes my way. I made my choice and for the very first time in my life, I know that I won’t regret it. Even more, for the very first time in my life, I’m pretty sure that I will fulfil my expectations and now I even don’t care how hard it will be.
Okay so now I’m gonna say a huge thank you for that half person who is still reading my post about my silly anxiety and self-motivation.
As an exchange, I’d like to share with you what you should do to avoid overreacting things on your emotional roller-coaster if you decide to take the self-employed path or want to quit for travelling.
First of all: Don’t be scared!
Don’t be scared! – the pot calling the kettle black… – Don’t see it as a huge life-changing moment. There’s nothing you cannot undo or cannot fix.
You do not have to quit your whole life. You do not have to sell all of your stuff and cut off all your relationships. Try not to think in extremes. If something you want doesn’t work as you imagined before just move on and try it in another way. There is nothing you can lose.
But it is also important to do it with a good purpose! Whatever is your reason for quitting you should know why you want to make this decision – I made a bucket list about things I would like to experience and places I would like to see, for example. It will keep you calm even when you feel down.
The only thing you should do is to sit down and ask yourself what you really want to do. Why you want to leave. And answer it really-really honestly. Then make a decision. Don’t overcomplicate it, just give it a try and you’ll see how it works for you.
2. Let’s talk about money.
Now you may know exactly or at least roughly what you’d like to do, where you’d like to go, and when. Great! So you can count or estimate how much money you need for your kick-off.
Try to keep your feet on the ground.
Keep track of your expenses for a while and calculate the price of your new lifestyle – if you change it. When we are thinking about money, we have to be very realistic, so whatever you want to do in the future you should have some savings or some passive/active income.
My savings are enough for me to travel on budget and also to keep my little flat for roughly a year, but generally speaking, I think it is enough if you have savings for at least 6 months ahead.
3. Try to decide how you can make money.
Making money is not as difficult as you may think (it depends on how much money you want to make though). There are many many different ways to create passive or active income without an 8-hour job.
But please be super realistic!
Do your research on how you can make money and do not forget that demand dictates supply, even if you can make super cool handmade clothes for ferrets, it may not be a sure-fire way to make enough money, and the other thing is that it takes time setting up any kind of business.
Making money online.
Whether you have skills in making money online or not it is important to strengthen your skills or build them up. There are a bunch of ways how you can make an online business.
For example: making money from your blog or vlog with affiliate marketing and online courses, being a freelancer, dropshipping, being an influencer, being a social media manager, web-developer, graphic designer, teaching online, and it can go on endlessly.
Just try to pick one or two of your best skills and do your research on how you can use them. In my opinion, it is very important to diversify your incomes, but it doesn’t mean that you should do thousands of things. Try to focus on only two or three ways where your income may come. If you try to do too many things, you won’t have enough time for living your dreams which is why you actually quit.
Summarizing how you should do your research:
- read blogs, see vlogs to have some clue where you should start;
- pick some skills of yours and find the best ways to make money that fit them;
- improve your skills using SkillShare, Udemy, Future Learn or some similar website;
- and start doing it.
Finding temporary jobs in other countries.
Actually, it’s not for me, because I feel it too precarious so I cannot say too much about it, but there are a lot of ways to find temporary jobs in other countries.
You can work as a crew member or work in a hostel, bar, café, you can do fruit picking or farm jobs, volunteering, building a house, teaching English etc.
Whatever you finally choose, I think it is better to do it with a company who can help you to find the best seasonal jobs and who can also find with the paperwork and with getting every necessary document (working visa for example) the cheapest way.
4. Do not worry too much about other people’s opinions.
Try to recognise advice that comes from a good place and separate them from others that come from other people’s fear. There will be a lot of people who will not understand why you choose this way or – even worse – they’d like to do the same but have not crossed their boundaries yet.
Not everyone’s opinion counts.
It is very important to keep it in mind, otherwise, you cannot concentrate on your tasks and goals if you try to keep and fight other people’s problems. Try to find those people who can help you and support you.
5. Be patient with yourself.
You’ll have ups and downs. You’ll face situations when you will feel uncertain whether you’re on the right path or not. You may have some very problematic clients and you may meet some problems that seem impossible to solve at first sight. Don’t panic, but be persistent. It takes time though, but it’ll work.
6. Just do it.
Thank you if you kept reading until the end of this post. I really hope that I could help you to overcome your fears and organize your thoughts (and also bear down that crazy voice inside you). If you have any suggestions or questions, let me know.
PS: I killed the SEO of this post with my stupidly long paragraphs. Do not do it because Google won’t like you. And neither will your readers.