Things you shouldn’t say to a female who travels solo

A few posts ago I shared with you “Why I’m not waiting for the huge life-changing moment anymore” – and also told that why you shouldn’t either -. If you had already read that post you surely know that I quit. Why did I quit? Because I wasn’t happy where I was and I want to find my happiness. Where will I find it? I don’t know, but I’m sure I won’t find it among the 4 walls and I should leave my comfort zone. I always love to travel – oh, what a surprising information about a girl who has a travel blog…anyway – so I’ll go to a longer backpacking trip, maybe for a few months, maybe more, still don’t know.

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I had a hunch that I shouldn’t share anyone why I quit and what my plans are, but there were some people whom I had to tell. My ex-colleagues, company partners, clients and so on and most of them were so kind, wished me good luck and gave me some truly helpful and kind advice that I know it comes from a good place of love and I love them for it. But some of them felt a strong need to give me some unwanted advice and ask some silly – or invidious – questions. I still can’t decide whether they told me these things because they are jealous or just wanted to say something… anything… ehm… okay let’s see my favourite examples.

Note: please let me apologize because of my sarcastic comments. I’m a very kind person. I really am.

“Aren’t you scared?”

I am.

Every time when I travel alone I’m scared a bit but I think it is healthy and I wouldn’t call it “scaring”. I think it is more of an excitement. In fact, it is not as scary as you may think. Although this one won’t be my first solo trip, it will be my longest so far. I think that nothing can happen that I couldn’t handle. And danger is everywhere, even in your home. What is the difference between walking in Budapest – my home city – and walking in for example Auckland? Once my mom told me: the most important thing is to have your passport and credit card with enough money for travelling home and that’s it. I think travel insurance can be useful too.

“But you are a girl! It’s not for girls. I don’t want to hurt you but you are too old for that. You should rather find a husband and have children.”

Thanks for your considerate words and thank you so much for noticing that I’m a girl, that’s why I often wear a skirt to make it obvious. Ok, so I’m 26 years old… But to be honest it doesn’t matter how old I am. Let me decide how I want to live my life, so my relationship status and what and when I do or have are my very own business. I know my passions, my needs and what I really want to do. End of the story.

“Why is not Hungary good enough for you?”   

Okay, I still don’t understand the connection between Hungary and travelling. I love this country so much – here it is the proof –  and saw a lot of things there. True, I haven’t seen every corner of it, but it’s on my list, just like other countries.

“Why don’t you travel with your family or friends? Don’t you like to travel with them? You’ll be lonely.”

I really like to travel with my family and also with my friends. Travelling with a companion is always fun and have lots of advantages, for example, you can share the best moments with someone. But I have my reasons why I would love to travel alone. If I had to wait for someone to travel with me for a long time, I would never be off to anywhere. The other reason is that it is truly awesome to enjoy your own company and it raises your self-awareness. Having “me time” is more important than you would think and being comfortable with your own self is a great ability.

If you don’t love to be with your very own self, why would others do so?

And in case you get tired of being alone and want to meet somebody there are a lot of people on the road or there are a lot of communities on Facebook to join, for example, Budget Travel Babes.

These groups are full of female travellers who do the same and you can’t imagine how powerful and great help it could be to share your problems, or even your thoughts when you feel alone. They won’t be with you though, but their online support and virtual hugs can help if you feel lonely.

“Still don’t have a plan?!”

Nope. And guess what? I don’t want to have a plan. I actually did what I did to be able to skip having any plans. For freedom. I always had a plan. I always knew my next 20 steps ahead and knew exactly where I would go. Now, I don’t have a plan. And I enjoy it so much.

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“I know: you have another job, don’t you?”

Yaaaaaas I do, you got me! I just really like to create stories like this to hide my real reasons. Ok, I think there is no more to say at this point, but I’ve heard it many, many times.  

“What are you running away from?”

If someone wants to travel why does it necessarily mean that they running away from something? Travelling, especially solo travelling is a really good possibility to learn a bunch of things and many other advantages comes with it. Just to name a few:

  • You can learn how to trust in yourself
  • You can learn how to trust in strangers
  • You can make new friends or find love – spoiler of the next post 🙂
  • You can learn about yourself so much
  • You can learn about different countries and cultures
  • You will gain experiences of a lifetime

And it can go on endlessly. In most cases, if someone wants to travel there aren’t any hidden, mysterious reasons. They just want to see the World.  

“You are so lucky, I wish I could do the same, but it is much easier for you!”

Obviously.

It is always easier for me.

I don’t have anything to give up, it is very easy to set up my own remote business and travel is free of charge for me.

Ah, lucky, lucky me!

Fine, I’m really lucky indeed, I have a supportive family and friends and I know that if something happens I can rely on them anytime. And I’m lucky because my profession allows me to work remotely. But I’m working so hard on setting up my business and saving some money. But if my profession didn’t let me do this and I would really like to travel for a long time, I think I could solve it. I would go on a course and learn something that I can do remotely. There are many different websites where you can learn pretty much everything: Future Learn, Skillshare, Udemy, and so on. That’s it.

In point of pure fact that it is always easier to stay in your comfort zone and always easier to find some excuse for yourself why you can’t step over your boundaries. Easier, but truly better?  

So what you should say to a female who wants to travel solo

Soak up the excitement of being on the go all the while learning about different countries, cultures, taking in the sights and meeting new people, making acquaintances and forging friendships!

3 thoughts on “Things you shouldn’t say to a female who travels solo

  1. Ugh, I totally relate. It’s so annoying having all other people’s fears thrown at you. But you’ve got the right attitude. Trust in yourself and you’ll make it work!

  2. Aw thank you so much for your encouraging words! I hope we’ll meet in New Zealand 🙂

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