Why I’m not waiting for the huge life-changing moment anymore

and why you shouldn’t either.

I finally did it: I quit. But first things first, let’s start the story from the beginning. I have a great job, a cool and always supportive family, amazing friends, and everything that a girl could wish for. At least, this is what it seems from the outside because I don’t want people to get realise I haven’t been happy lately. It just doesn’t fit in with “always happy and confident businesswoman” niche.

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My job. My life. My passion.

My job has always been the most important thing for me. Whenever I had a problem, I would bury myself in work. When I was embarrassed or felt vulnerable – like a normal human being who feels something sometimes-, I started to speak about my professional successes. This topic was the safest shield for me, which I could rely on every time and it made me invulnerable. I worked extremely hard and I often pushed aside every necessity of mine in order to give my best. And not only necessities but also my relationships, my friends, and my family. But I was struggling with pretty much everything because I didn’t want to be there where I was. 

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So I started to work on changing, and as a first step, I had to figure out what could make me happy. I always thought that this kind of recognition comes with epic music, bright lights and it would be a huge life-changing moment. But it wasn’t like that at all. When I finally realised what I really want, it was on a day just like any other day. Nothing special. To be honest it was rather disgusting with lots of teardrops and snivel, not a beautiful and glorious divine moment.

One day, I went hiking…

…and somehow I got lost in the forest. I was totally alone, my phone had no service, no messages, no notifications or anything that sort. Such a great feeling! I sat down and I was thinking a lot about what I really wanted to do in my life, why I was not happy, where I would be happy and all of a sudden I started to cry. I wasn’t crying because I was lost or not happy, but I was crying because I finally understood that what I really wanted for a long time, but I had been too coward and cushy to do it, but the best time was right then and the only person who can do it was me. I wanted to quit my 9-5 life, but I didn’t want to quit my job to realize a huge world-changing plan or leave the rat race or something.

Both of my parents have their own businesses, so I know exactly how hard it can be and being location independent and “free” is not always as easy and fun as it seems from the outside. But despite all of its disadvantages I really wanted it. Before this step I had always been waiting for something: a deadline, a possibility, a thing that would change my life and I always created some barrier as an excuse…

…because changes mean: I have to leave my comfort zone.

But finally, I understood that it wouldn’t necessarily mean that I have to burn all my bridges. I overestimated these things and I also made it harder when I handled it as a “huge life-changing moment”. Yap, it’s huge, and my life will change, because I will leave the well-known area to step toward the unknown and all changes are scary at first. But there is nothing I cannot undo and I can choose to get back my 9-5 life anytime I want to, but I knew, I would always regret it if I didn’t give it a try. So I quit. The only thing I know is that whatever comes my way, I can handle it. I’m so grateful because I have a supportive family and cool friends and I know, they will always be there for me.

For another month I’m still director of marketing and communication with prestige and lots of responsibilities which had always been so important to me and then I’ll be just a girl who is a part-time virtual assistant, a part-time blogger, a part-time social media manager, a part-time freelance writer and who knows what, but now I am also a girl who is happy where she is.

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So what’s next? Although I’m not totally clueless I still don’t know exactly, but I’m single, I have no loans or debts and I have a profession that I can do remotely, so I’m lucky because I can do pretty much everything. So I’m just going with the flow now and I’ll see.

There is a bunch of things on my bucket list.

I’m 26 years old, and if I don’t do these things now, then when? I’m still scared a little bit, but I’m pretty sure that it was one of the best decisions in my life. At first I’ll focus on spending more quality time with family and friends, so I’ll go to Tenerife with the triumvirate I love the most, my mom and my two sisters and then:

  • I want to swim with sharks in Mexico;
  • go to London, because I was living in the UK, but never been in the capital;
  • clean my little spot, because I do not dare to tell you how long it hasn’t properly been cleaned;
  • I want to see a whale in New Zealand;
  • paragliding in South Africa;
  • take my torn coat to the seamstress to be able to wear it again;
  • hug a koala in Australia;
  • fell in love with a merman in the Bermuda triangle;
  • and I also want to get lost in all forests around the World. 
But now I’m going to open a bottle of wine and have a very, very, very bubbly bath.
So what are you waiting for? Just do it.

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